A Child 3-5 Years

Children change and grow up rapidly. They do not transform themselves overnight, turning from caterpillars to butterflies under your eyes, but this particular change from toddler to preschool child, whether it takes place at 2½ or 4, does have a sudden and magical quality. Penelope Leach

Growth and Development
Between the third and fifth birthday, height increases by 13-14 cm and weight by 3½-6¼ kg. These gains are likely to be lower for girls. Children’s initiative grows as they explore their world of people and things. They start looking for reasons, answers, causes, solutions and new ideas. Recognition of effort encourages them to try harder. They want to accomplish tasks that they set for themselves and may resent offers of help.

Parents’ continuing help in what they are doing is important. This will have far-reaching effects on how they manage at school later on. A man’s way of interacting with infants and children provides a unique contribution to a child’s experience of human relationships. In a family where the father is absent, male relatives or friends can help to provide this.

At this age a child may acquire an imaginary playmate - animal or human - to share the joys and problems of life.

The existence and rights of a ‘friend’ are defended, often strongly, and the whole family has to accept this, even to leaving the most comfortable chair vacant if the ‘friend’ is using it. It should not be taken as an indication that a child is lonely or ‘odd’.

Children still find difficulty in accepting responsibility for their own bad behavior. It may be easier to blame the ‘friend’ until they are mature enough to acknowledge their own mistakes.

Three-year-olds are likely to be physically competent. They may ride tricycles expertly, turning corners without having to slow down, and climb play equipment confidently. About this time they can manage the intricate art of cutting with scissors, use a fork and spoon, wash hands (though they still need help drying them), and pull their pants down and up (but they still need a hand with buttons).

Because of the tremendous drive to develop physical skills such as climbing, balancing, running and kicking, they need to have the opportunity to ‘run wild’ out of doors whatever the weather.

For the very active child, encouraging this vigorous play will mean a happier household for everyone.

Four-year-olds gradually progress from climbing on household furniture and simple play apparatus to becoming expert on ladders, trees or anything else that interests them. Though they will need supervision, generally they will attempt to climb only what they can manage safely. However, it should be kept in mind that some adventurous children may be able to get up but not to get down alone. In their quieter moments they may show more interest and enthusiasm for play that involves fine hand movements, such as drawing, painting and building. These activities are forerunners to writing skills and may also be a source of great pride and satisfaction. Displays of kindergarten creations are familiar decorations in many kitchens! Giving these place of honor is important because it shows children their efforts are appreciated and helps encourage their development.

As a Social Being
One of the most delightful age groups in preschool children is three years or thereabouts. As their own fluency improves they start to enjoy conversations with an adult. Helping with whatever is going on is one of their greatest pleasures.

They begin to notice sex differences and may ask about them. They need to be told the proper names for body parts, such as penis for a boy or vagina for a girl. Competition in urinating is common and little girls too will often try to pass urine standing up. To ‘wait awhile’ is now a possibility, but patience should not be tried too far. They are capable of showing sympathy, can show affection for younger children, and would rather please you than not. They may even begin to understand about taking turns, but do not expect too much from them.

However, the latter part of this year may not flow so smoothly. Whingeing, demanding and blaming mother for anything that goes wrong are frequent symptoms of this stage of insecurity. Imaginary fears are also common. They may be afraid of such things as the dark, wild animals or noisy machinery. A bandaid may be demanded for even the slightest scratch.

Nail biting, blinking, masturbating or thumb sucking are common and may worry you. If so, discuss your concerns with your child health nurse.

Behavior in a social situation is unpredictable. They can be shy today and ‘show-offs’ tomorrow. Feelings are easily hurt by failure or by being ignored, and they may try to protect themselves from this with ‘no’ or ‘I can’t’. These are all just signs of the general disorganization of this age and will pass with time. Your patient support will help.

Four-year-olds are always wanting to be doing: ‘Let me ...’. The three-year-old’s ‘what’, ‘where’ and ‚who’ questions will now be changing to ‘why’, ‘when’ and ‘how’. This is an indication that they are trying to understand the world around them. They use a spoon and fork, and later a knife, quite efficiently. They are not so likely to dawdle and will enjoy taking part in mealtime conversations.

One often hears them giving themselves instructions before starting or stopping things that are difficult for them. In time they will no longer need to do this. They are, if anything, even more independent than before and not only undress, but dress themselves.

Not unexpectedly, this independence is shown in their behavior by assertiveness and sometimes impertinent refusals to do as they are asked. They will, however, gradually become more self- controlled.

Not only will they understand about taking turns, but also they will be far more cooperative with their friends, and accept the need for rules and for fair play.

Learning Thru Play
Children learn thru play. It is their ‘work’ and helps them develop physical, mental and social skills. Children need to explore, experiment, and experience, as widely as possible, a variety of play activities. By providing these opportunities, we not only help our children develop, but also create a happier child and family.

There are play possibilities in everyday things for the parent with a ‘playful’ eye.

Make-believe and domestic play are very important during these years, and this becomes gradually more and more complex and planned. Preschoolers are able to carry images of situations and objects in their minds, increasing their ability to play imaginatively.

This imaginative play is an exploration of other people and their roles. Acting out situations will help them in later life. The fire fighter needs a hat and the doctor or nurses a stethoscope. Give them a variety of hats. Their imagination will do the rest. With imagination a small, open cardboard box can be a spaceship, a train, a car or a house. The possibilities are endless.

Adults should not join in this play unless at the child’s invitation. They will probably only be asked to play minor roles as guest, assistant, or supplier of needed props. Other children of the same age who can share ideas will stimulate other activities, and help to play and act out new make-believe adventures. If other children are not available, care and planning by concerned adults can provide new experiences, visits and fresh play materials.

If allowed, preschoolers may be very keen to help with such household jobs as unpacking groceries, washing and drying dishes, preparing vegetables and making cakes. Although it may take longer for you, this is the way children learn and practice skills they will need later on. So spend some time turning housework into house play!

Sharing a bedtime story at the end of the day can provide great enjoyment for children and parents alike. Children love stories about familiar objects, such as cars or trucks, and animals. You can buy books or borrow them from libraries. Children also enjoy making their own ‘special’ books or stories. By sharing a bedtime story you will increase your child’s knowledge and vocabulary.

Even more important, you will create a warm, secure feeling at the end of the day. This is an age to encourage listening skills.

Your child health nurse probably has pamphlets.

This is a good age to encourage listening skills. Focus their attention by asking them to sit quietly, watch you, and listen to a story.

Call their attention to new sounds in their environment: ‘What was that sound?’ or 'Where is that bird?’.

Children at this age enjoy reading familiar stories, rhymes and songs with you over and over again. Encourage listening by having the younger child complete the familiar sentence you have started or filling in the missing words. The older child will be able to retell the story from a book or children’s video.

Safety
Rapidly improving physical skills like running, jumping and climbing give the child freedom and opportunities for adventure - freedom to do things that ‘other children’ do, to do things ‘by myself’. These new freedoms increase the chances of injuries.

While it is the parents’ responsibility to keep children safe, it is for them to provide opportunities for the child to learn what can and can’t be done safely.

Supervision is still necessary, but this should now include an increasing amount of opportunity for children to practice making their own decisions. Complete freedom can be boring as well as dangerous. Over-restriction will reduce learning opportunities or push children out of bounds.

Protection is still needed, but education becomes increasingly important to enable children to take responsibility for their own safety.

Children learn best by copying what they see others do. Set good examples for your child to follow. Always talk to your child when doing things in a particular way and allow practice opportunities, with supervision. This will help you to know when your child can manage safely alone.

To Keep Your Child Safe

• Constantly supervise play in and around water.
• Always supervise play in parks and playgrounds and teach your child the safe way to use play equipment.
• Accompany your child when crossing a street and teach safe behavior in traffic.
• Teach your child to use tools and kitchen equipment safely.
• Keep matches and cigarette lighters away from your child’s reach.
• Talk to your child about ‘stranger danger’.
• Allow your child only those toys suitable for this age group.
• Insist your child remains restrained at all times when in a vehicle.
• Make certain your child’s vaccinations are up to date.